Demand more from your friendships..

A few days ago, I went on a long walk with my younger brother. We weren’t in a rush or trying to achieve some fitness milestone. It was one of those slower, reflective walks that allow conversation to meander. Somewhere between laughter and silence, the topic of friendships came up.

He began sharing his thoughts about the people around him—some who inspired him, others who felt like they were heading in a different direction. We talked about how his friends were changing and what that meant for him. It struck me how easy it is to overlook the subtle power of proximity. I reminded him of something I’ve had to learn the hard way: the people you walk with often determine the direction you take.

You are the company you keep

Most of us tend to believe that what determines our progress in life is our drive, our plans, and our focus. Especially for those of us who consider ourselves ambitious or intentional, it’s tempting to think that success is purely a result of our internal discipline. While that matters, it is not the whole story. In truth, the company we keep often sets the tone for our lives in ways we underestimate.

Whether we notice it or not, our values, aspirations, and even our sense of what is normal are heavily influenced by the people around us. If your closest friends speak often about their goals, take risks with integrity, and live with discipline, those things become part of your internal rhythm too. If, on the other hand, they lean towards cynicism, comfort, or passive discontent, you will find those tendencies subtly rubbing off on you as well. It’s not a matter of imitation; it’s a matter of immersion.

We rarely realise when the values of our environment start to shift our own. These changes happen in small, consistent doses that often escape conscious attention. Eventually, what once felt like compromise begins to feel like common sense. Your inner compass doesn’t get replaced overnight it simply gets recalibrated, one conversation and one decision at a time.

Let me share two truths that have become clear to me over the years especially when it comes to relationships and personal growth. These are not rules, but observations that hold up across time and people.

Photo by Felix Rostig on Unsplash

You community determines your values

The first is this: your values are either reinforced or rewritten in community. We like to think our values are firmly rooted, independent of others, but that isn’t how life works. In reality, the people around us shape the language we use, the standards we hold, and the behaviours we justify. If you’re around people who speak honestly, show up on time, and hold themselves to a standard, it becomes more difficult to excuse laziness or compromise in your own life.

The opposite is true as well. If you spend time with people who regularly cut corners, laugh off accountability, or dismiss the pursuit of excellence, you begin to lower your guard. What once made you uncomfortable slowly becomes acceptable. You start letting things slide, not because you believe they’re right, but because they no longer feel wrong. The temperature shifts, and you adjust without noticing.