I’m speaking at the United Nations today and I would love you to watch. I will give you details on how to watch at the end of this digital entry. Read till the end to find out how to watch.
‘What Do You Do’ might be the most common question in professional circles. We hear it when we meet people for the first time when we catch up with friends after a long time and also at the dreaded networking events. It’s often a shorthand for assessing someone. When people answer the question, we make judgements about them. Their values, their personality and their choices. However, is this fear? Should you really judge someone based on what they do? Of course not. I would like to believe everyone reading this knows that’s a bad idea, however, many times we ourselves cling on to our job descriptions a little too closely.
I remember growing up, I was that kid that did 100 things. I volunteered for every opportunity and ran towards any chance to have a role. I would acquire new roles and positions as if they were personality traits. I wrote a little about this in the first newsletter to you folks when I described my journey. I have since had a lot of time to consider what was really driving me. Why was I moving so quickly? At a time when i didn’t really understand myself, its as though the roles made me feel more secure and less confused. I didn’t have to do any personal soul searching because I could just hide behind whatever the latest role I had was. If I just listed 5 roles, no one would ask questions about who I really was right?
A Question of Worth
As a culture, we are obsessed with others’ careers or other notable pursuits.
This isn’t necessarily wrong. Our work and interests are an integral part of our individuality. The problem is when we feel solely defined by these external factors.
Identity is a delicate, yet complex, concept. Our identity is the story we tell about who we are. It’s the prevailing characterization of our lives and our personalities. Our identity answers the question, “who am I?”. Its the internal narrative we nurture and add to when no one is looking.
The problem, though is this: if I define myself by what I do, my inherent worth increases or decreases based upon my success. When I succeed, I am a success. When I fail, I am a failure.
If I identify myself as a writer, who am I when my writing misses some standard of success? If I define myself as a blogger, who do I become when I decide I no longer want that title?
Furthermore, because our identities are the core of who we are, those things we define ourselves by can begin to feel fixed. It’s easy to forget that who we are is fluid and flexible.
I don’t have to be a blogger if that hat no longer suits me. You don’t have to continue doing your thing, whatever it may be, when you feel ready to move on.
We are not defined by what we do.
Two Mistakes
When we confuse who we are with what we do, we are often making one of two big errors.
One is believing our Job descriptions are capacious enough to fit all of us into them. This is not true. I’m currently hiring for an operations executive at Common Sense, so I have been looking greatly into this. Most job descriptions speak of tasks, responsibilities and remits and maybe some preferable character traits. They arent personal descriptions of people. They are centred around tasks and a specific job. This means no matter how senior your role is or how detailed your job description it can never describe you. You have too high a view of these arbitrary descriptions.
The second issue is that people often have too low a view of themselves. You must be thinking about yourself in a unidimensional way if you believe that all of who you are could be captured in a few words. They pay you for performing some tasks at work but you are so much bigger than that. You have interests, passions and so much about yourself that you are yet to explore and discover. Seeing yourself through the lense of a job description is suffocating and unfair to yourself.
So Who Am I
In Song of Myself, American poet Walt Whitman says it best with these lines:
“Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)”
Whitman admits that he is contradictory, as we all are. Within our individual personalities, there are “multitudes” of contrary feelings, personality traits and habits, and this is okay.
He embraces all parts of his humanity- the messy, contradictory and flawed. We should do the same, as this is what makes us human.
If you know me then you know I enjoy being social, however, if you really know me then you will know too that I’m an introvert. Some days I enjoy writing and can’t get the words out fast enough, other days, the page sits empty. I’m complicated yet simple, open yet private, playful yet serious. I imagine most of you are all of these things, too.
And in the same vein, we are so much more than what we do. Whether you identify as a dancer, a banker, a writer, whether you define yourself by your career, your passions, or your hobbies, you contain multitudes.
You can love what you do and be impassioned by it, you can be proud of your achievements and hungry for more, but the bottom line is this: it is not who you are.
Letting Go
Ultimately, it would benefit us to take a page from Whitman’s book.
Our identities are not set in stone. They’re variable and dynamic, and they certainly don’t need to be weighed down by your career or passion, no matter how successful you are at it.
You have the power to change, evolve and re-create who you are at a moment’s notice. If there is something lockdowns around the world taught us, its that we can adapt, evolve and change. There is nothing wrong with that.
You’re free to take off the mask of whatever it is you do and to move forward in becoming who you want to be.
1) I’m speaking at the United Nations today
I’m on at 16:34 GMT and you can watch HERE
I will be talking about Justice!
2. I’m hosting two Masterclasses this weekend about Building Real Discipline
There is a LIVE session in London for 20 people and an online session the day after! This is going to be game-changing so grab tickets and let me know if you need any help.
3. My Life's Purpose Put Me On Flames // Lord Michael Hastings
Topics
What is leadership?
The Conflict in Ukraine
Rating the leadership of leaders like Obama, Trump and Angela Merkel
How to keep your integrity
How do we get systems change Does the system really corrupt?
Listen to the podcast👇🏼
Apple: https://apple.co/2Raon2r
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2PBNryR
Anchor: https://anchor.fm/ltcs
4. I’m Hiring
Operations Executive
Reports to: CEO, Directors & General Advisory Board
Contract Type: Rolling 12-month contract (3 month trial period)
Location: Hybrid - Remote / In-Person (London Based)
Pay: £22-24k
Job Spec: Here
Application Form: Here