Kindness should not be a strategy but a way of life
A new week begins.
It always feels like a fresh opportunity to get things right, doesn’t it? Maybe last week wasn’t as smooth as you hoped, or you didn’t handle things as gracefully as you wanted to. It happens. However, I’ve learned over time that I want to talk about today.
I’m currently on my Q4 break in Barcelona and the thing I was meditating on this morning was kindness. Our culture often sees it as a weakness. Some in turn try to see it as a strength, but as they do so, they focus on the instrumental uses of Kindness. What it can get you and how it can help you. Today I want us to reflect on the intrinsic value of kindness.
Kindness isn’t a tactic. It’s not a way to get ahead or to get things out of people. It shouldn’t be used as a tool to manipulate a situation in your favour or to make others feel obligated to you. That’s the problem when we approach kindness as a strategy—it stops being real.
For me, kindness is the most important virtue in people. It’s what I notice first and value most. There’s something pure about it. In a world that’s constantly asking, What’s in it for me? the people who show up with a heart full of kindness stand out.
Why “Kindness as a Strategy” Fails
We’ve all experienced that moment where someone was nice to us, but it felt off. Maybe they were overly complimentary or went out of their way to help, but it felt like there was a price tag attached. That’s not real kindness—that’s manipulation in a prettier outfit.
When we use kindness as a way to get things, it’s empty. It’s performative. You’re not being kind because you believe in its value; you’re being kind because you want something back. And people can sense that. It feels calculated. Forced. It leaves both people worse off—the one trying to work the angle and the one who feels like a pawn in someone else’s game.
True kindness, the kind that sticks with you, is never about getting something in return. It’s about giving. It’s about recognizing that everyone around you is going through their own battles, and your kindness could be the thing that helps them through the day.
Making Kindness a Way of Life
When kindness becomes a part of who you are, it’s no longer dependent on what you get in return. You’re kind because you see the value in treating others well, regardless of the situation. And it doesn’t have to be some grand gesture—most of the time, it’s the small things that matter. It’s remembering someone’s name, offering a listening ear, giving someone the benefit of the doubt.
The beauty of living kindly is that it starts to change you, too. You stop worrying about whether people notice your kindness or whether it’s acknowledged. You’re not doing it for recognition; you’re doing it because it’s the right thing to do.
As we step into this new week, I challenge you to make kindness a core part of your life, not just a strategy to get ahead. Be kind without expectation. Be kind without wanting anything in return. There’s enough transactional behaviour in the world already. What we need is genuine kindness—the kind that leaves people feeling seen and valued, not used or manipulated.
Because when kindness is real, it changes not just the people around you—it changes you, too. And to me, that’s the kind of life worth living.