Stop Saying You're Busy
Good Morning world changer.
Whether you are currently a trailblazer or just thinking about trailblazing, good morning. I write these weekly newsletters for people like you. Folks who are passionate about changing things, fixing broken things and making a meaningful contribution to the world. Keeping going and keep shining. Never settle and never allow the opinions of others to make you settle.
I bet I can guess one of your favourite phrases…. ‘I’m busy. Did I get it right? Don’t worry, I’m not about to go off on one about the importance of not being busy. I actually don’t believe there is anything wrong with it. You are trying to change the world and I get it. It’s only normal that you are busy, that you have a full schedule. Being busy isn’t a problem, hiding behind busyness is. Let me explain.
A few months ago, one of my friends picked up on a trend. He asked how I was doing and I, being in pilot mode said something I often always say ‘I’m busy. He then said, “Mike you know you’ve said that the last 5 times I’ve asked you how you’re doing”.
This is what startled me. It wasn’t so much that I was busy but it was the fact that I had been saying the same thing for weeks. That was slightly concerning. However also notice, he had asked me how I was doing, he wanted to know what was going on in my mind, my heart, my emotions. Rather than engage with him, I simply replied; I’m busy’ which isn’t actually an answer to the question. It’s a refusal to engage. It may not have been clear to me at the time but it was a protest. I didn’t want to answer his question. This is what I mean by hiding behind busyness. You can probably see how this might be a problem but honestly, it goes even deeper than this.
When we have a full schedule, there can often be a lot of energy in our lives. Our heart races as we dart from item to item. This energy can give us the illusion of an active, productive and healthy life but it’s often only adrenaline. Adrenaline is no indication of a full and healthy life but the challenging thing is that it feels like it is. So many times, I have fallen into the trap of confusing the energy busyness generates for a holistic life. In truth, I was replacing genuine living for productivity.
When you are busy, you don’t have to work on relationships, you don’t have difficult conversations, confront addictions or live life. Like a sugar ant, you are addicted to the highs and the energy a busy lifestyle generates and that can pacify your need for genuine connection and fellowship.
People who live 100mph oven over esteem stoicism and apathy. They take pride in the fact they don’t feel anything and they think it’s a superpower. I’ve been there so I know what I mean by this. However, there is no prize for not feeling things, only bad and brittle relationships. It can be very tempting to live a life like this. Where you are so busy, you don’t feel or engage with the real world. It’s not good world changer. You won’t last long.
This week, when someone asks how you are doing, accept the invitation and engage with your emotions, thoughts and mind. Answer the question. Slow down and live.
Have an amazing week
M.T. Omoniyi